"A beautiful flower"

Andres Dela Cruz was my loving grandfather, the father of my mother.  It was the morning of the 28th of June 2009, at nearly 0600 when my mother called me at the house phone and in  San Bernardino where I was staying at the time.  My mother's voice was trembling, while I heard the sound of pain and her broken heart thru her breathes.  She immediately had told me to take my sister and my brother to Kindered Hospital where my grandfather was staying, which was located in Covina.  With fear and great concern, I asked my mother "What's happening?  Is Ama okay?"  With her trembling voice she responds, "Ama's not here anymore."  At that precise moment, my heart sunk.  My hands were trembling, I was speechless.  I stared at the phone, not knowing a single thing what to do next.  I felt a big lump in my throat, where I couldn't even swallow my saliva, where I couldn't even move, couldn't even blink.

When we arrived at the ICU, my whole family was there, aunts, uncles, cousins, and extended family.  And there was my grandfather, laying peacefully, while my grandmother holding his hand and weeping in silence.  I touched his soft, cold hand and his cheeks.  He was finally painless.  I sobbed and thoughts of my fondest memories I had with my grandfather was replaying in my head.

It was a few years back when Ama was in the hospital.  A drunk driver had accidentally ran over my grandfather while walking across the street.  Ama was immediately rushed to the hospital with broken ribs and unable to move besides opening his eyes, opening and closing his mouth, and breathing through a tracheal tube.  My family and I visited him one particular day, and he was always delighted and looking forward to see every one of us.  My uncle asked him, "Ama, can you tell me who that is," pointing towards me.  Ama responds, "magandang bulaklak" -"A beautiful flower."  My dad asked how he was feeling.  Ama responds, "I don't care what happens to me or how many bones I break, just as long as I am able to move my lips to kiss my wife.  That's all I need."

Back in 2006 I celebrated my 18th birthday.  It's a big celebration in the Filipino culture, composed of 18 roses, 18 candles and a court of 18 people, including the debutant.  The 18 roses are composed of 18 significant men that is special to me and have touched my life in some way.  The 18 roses does a special dance with the debutant.  My grandfather was one of my roses.  Ama had already been on the wheelchair then, and was only able to walk and stand in a very limited amount of time.  I told him he can just sit on his chair while we dance.  He refused and said he wouldn't miss it for the world to be able to dance with his youngest granddaughter.  With all his strength, he stood up and gave his best, just simply to make me happy.  I wouldn't have traded this moment for anything.

The happiest I've ever seen Ama was at his 60th anniversary.  We celebrated this event this past March.  He was the luckiest and happiest man I have ever seen.  My grandparents renewed their vows, the whole family was present, and he was smiling throughout the whole day.  He was on his walker at that time due to his shortness of breath.  However, when he walked down the isle with his bride, he walked with strength and with complete love by holding only her hand, just like the day they got married.  By the time they have reached the altar, he sat back down and said, "I'm never too weak to walk down the isle with you."

One of his wakes, my aunt had asked every one of his grandchildren to say a eulogy in front of everyone.  When it was my turn, I stood in front of the podium.  Then my mind went blank and I froze.  I stood there holding the microphone and words came out.  However at that moment, I didn't really know what I was saying.  So this is my eulogy I never got to say...

I will never forget about Ama.  He had the strength, love and wisdom of a loving husband, father and grandfather.  He was loved by many and touched lives by showing examples of simply how to be happy with life.  Never in my life have I ever seen him mad.  He was never angry or sad, because he simply didn't have that kind of heart to show that emotion.  My mother even said he never got mad at her or her siblings.  Ama was the happiest person I have ever met.  I don't know anyone who can top that.  He was always smiling and laughing.  He would tell his stories about his life, stories about the people that have come across his, and stories of how he met my grandmother.  He would say them in Tagalog of course.  When he tells his stories, he would laugh in between.  It was a bit difficult to understand him, because I don't speak Tagalog and I can barely understand it, unfortunately I was unable to completely grasp his stories.  One of his gifts was making others laugh.  He use to tell jokes and make stories sound funny.  But every time he laughed, I laughed.  His laugh was contagious and I will always remember his laugh and his bright smile.  Ama was a great provider.  Throughout his life, he always worked.  Back in the Philippines he worked as a farmer, until he moved to the USA and worked in the laundry business.  He retired and still provided for his family by going around collecting recyclable cans, until a couple of weeks prior to his admission to the hospital. He was a very strong man.  Even at his age, he would go out and get his cans.  He use to say how it gave him exercise by walking and explained how he still wanted to provide for my grandmother.  There was a time when he was hit by a drunk driver and was then sent to the ICU.  He fought hard to live and fortunately get better.  I thought at that moment that we lost him, boy he fooled us!  He was a very persistent and was a hard-working man.  There was another incident where he was collecting his cans, pushing his little cart, and he got lost.  The whole family was worried sick because he had not gotten back home when he was suppose to.  He use to live in azusa, and they found him walking around Seafood City which was far from where he lived.  He told us, "I wasn't lost, the cart was taking me with it."  Last but not least, he had the biggest heart.  The love he had for my grandmother (Ina), was the kind of love that was full of compassion and happiness.  In my eyes, it was the ideal marriage.  He did everything he was able to do to be a great husband and a father.  He would make my grandmother laugh every chance he got, did sweet things for her and was in love with her for over 60 years.  The love he gave her is what I would want.  He showed a greatest example of how a man should love his wife.  Although it wasn't crystal perfect, he did his best to show her every day how much love he had for her.  He showed the family how to love and he reunited us.  I know he left holes in our hearts, but I know he wants us to fill it with love and happiness.  

I miss you Ama... Mahal kita po.